Monday, 12 May 2008

Dog rage

Ah, summer. It was balmy and warm like this in those far off days (two years ago) when I was house-hunting in Dulwich, with True Love at my side. The tales he would spin me of the life in store! The things we would do, the places we would go .....actually, there was none of that even then. He really only wanted to go to one place with me, which was absolutely fine at the time. Now that he prefers to be in a completely different spot, enjoying plenty of solo contemplation apparently, I must admit I am staring rather crossly at the park's beautiful rhododendrons as though it were their own personal fault that my life is such a mess.

Still, there is nothing like being out and about to open up one's perspective - or so everyone assures me. This morning, the sound of furious barking, so out of place in this park where even our canine friends are well-mannered and restrained, was enough to make me jump out of my skin. I rounded the corner and came across my first Dog Rage incident. It was all wonderfully Dulwichian. Two pink-cheeked Dulwich ladies, both wearing regulation Juicy Couture jogging ensembles, were tugging ineffectually at leads, at the end of which snarled, respectively, a King Charles spaniel and a chocolate Labrador. I must admit I've never seen a Labrador snarling before, so it was worth a gawp just for this. The spaniel, though, was really going for it full pelt, with bared teeth, furious yaps and the occasional low growl.

In the normal world, someone would just have poured a bucket of water over the dogs, and we would all have gone on our way. This being Dulwich, there was nothing as vulgar as water to be had, though I did gamely offer to pop to the cafe for a bottle of lightly sparkling mineral brew flavoured with melon. Alas, my kind proposal was scarcely heard over the frantic apologies of the women, 'I'm so, so sorry,' 'No, I'm much, much more abject, really ....' I left them to it, realising the whole thing could go on for hours.

And what were the dogs fighting over? Simple. The ladies were wearing similar jogging suits. But the dogs were wearing exactly identical leads. Big mistake. I blame the owners.

6 comments:

Millennium Housewife said...

You see, pit a Spaniel against any dog and they'll have a go. Ah delusions of grendeur and size, always been their (any my) downfall.

DulwichDivorcee said...

Well, Millenium Housewife, I must say the spaniel did look delightful, even while in mid-snarl!

Potty Mummy said...

I am assuming though that it was a chocolate lab, DD? Anything else would have been far too non-Dulwich.

DulwichDivorcee said...

Do you mean they actually come in another colour, Potty Mummy? I had heard rumours but had no idea it was true, you must be a very well-travelled mummy x

Nunhead Mum of One said...

Haha, I can understand that totally......three dogs in this house equal three leads but they each have their own leads. Heaven forbid if I use Junior Dog's lead on Senior Dog , oh the permutations are endless. I wouldn't mind but they're exactly the same style but different colours.

Senior Dog would not be seen dead being led on the purple lead that Middle Dog uses.

Junior Dog is a black labrador by the way, very much a Nunhead thing, the yellow labs are very Sydenham......

Lovely to hear the rhod's are out in the park - they weren't a couple of weeks ago!

DulwichDivorcee said...

Dear NMO, so glad you as a seasoned dog owner understand the terrible cruelty of those walkers! The rhodies are now amazing, a great wall of pink and purple, completely girlytastic, do visit. I wdn't know about Sydenham dogs as I try to keep my eyes tight shut when not in Dulwich, trust you absolutely though!