Well, the girls have gone off on holiday, they're having a lovely time and inevitably, I've ripped open the chocolate peanuts. I said I wouldn't, and I lasted, oh, nearly six hours before tucking in. Sigh.
All right, so it's not the end of the world. Peanuts are packed with protein, chocolate contains iron, I know all this because I tell myself I'm not naughty and evil for eating too much of the wrong things. But, at the same time, it makes me feel like crap, giving in to my baser, chocoholic side and eating something which is, frankly, a bit low-rent. These aren't even nice chocolate peanuts, you see. They're Morrisons, and contain maybe 20 per cent cocoa solids - barely qualifying for the title 'chocolate', really. I might as well go and eat a block of lard.
I've had an odd relationship with food all my life. For reasons I won't bore you with (actually, I simply can't bear to write about it), I've always had a desire to hide my body and there's no better way, really, than with flab. Then again, occasionally, I've swung the other way and got very thin. The thing I find hardest is to maintain any sort of stable weight.
A lot of women suffer from the same problem. Some of them face up to it properly, as I really can't, and one of them is my lovely friend Linda, of http://www.gotyourhandsful.com/ and http://www.havealovelytime.com/ who has written this post about binge eating. It's searingly honest, and beautifully written. What a brave lady.
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9 comments:
She is. And a lovely one too.
But you're gorgeous too. And I didn't notice any flab - even after sharing approximately 1 square metre of aeroplane for several hours. Anyway, curves are in, baby. Pass the peanuts.
A brave lady indeed. Have left a comment on her blog.
I struggle with my weight (and my mindset about my weight) too.
Now you've made me want some chocolate peanuts and it's 11 o'clock in the evening. Shame on you!
I just posted a blog about crap eating and binging and body image too. Why does it plague so many of us??
Why thank you, English Mum! I suppose flab is in the eye of the beholder ... sorry, finished the peanuts but I'll be popping out for more later xx
IM, yes, I think there are a lot of us out there (or in here!). It's a tricky one, food.
Ooops, sorry, Rosiero! Is there an all-night garage down your way??
Hi Margarita, nice to see you, I'll just go and have a read over at your place
must be the season for this as I just joined a boot camp type place and am struggling w/ weight myself. I finally (well just a week so plenty of time to be weak and stop) decided to get off my ass and do something. Oooh but it is sooo hard and I'm much rather sit on the sofa eating jam sandwiches!!
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